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Confession time

July 28, 2006

My poor deluded child: Mummy? How do traffic lights know when to change?

Me: Oh, there’s a really tiny person who lives inside the post and they have a remote control. They count to twenty and then they go red, then amber aaaaaaand green!

My poor deluded child: Oh. Are they tall like you?

Me: Nooooooo! They’re only this high (1″ between finger and thumb) and see that plant (weed growing at base of traffic light) that’s their garden.


Poor deluded child: Oh (quizzically – still thinking). PAUSE. Do they live outside or inside the pole?

Me: Oh, inside. Poor deluded child: Oh (quizzically again). SILENCE.

Him: pondering

Me: wondering why on earth I made up such a ridiculous story – but that really was the image I had in my head at the time.

Later he asked me (while he was having a poo) whether I had noticed something special about Thelma, Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby. Er no I said – what?

Well, he said – they don’t do wee’s or poo’s in the day. It’s so cool, they wait until all the children are in bed and do it while they are asleep.


Hm…my turn to go “oh….” Fair point I suppose. Good observation.

If it wasn’t for those snoopin’ kids……

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  1. Molly Bloom permalink

    I like your story about the traffic lights. I would like to think that there are little people living inside there. No-one ever excretes on TV. Ever. <br/><br/>I wish I was like that. Hold it in forever…that’s what it should be like. We ‘waste’ so much time in the loo.

  2. First Nations permalink

    i used to believe that about television and the radio. <br/>I WAS VERY SMALL, OK?<br/><br/>i remember in the beginning of the movie ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ where Nicole Kidman takes a demure wee…does that count? she’s a cartoon character.

  3. Chaucer's Bitch permalink

    The first time ever that the sound of a toile flushing was heard in a TV program was on Leave It To Beaver in the 1950s. It caused such a scandal the station issued an apology and the flush wasn’t heard again for 2 decades. On the Brady Bunch, I believe, but I could be wrong.

  4. rockmother permalink

    Molly B: Thank you. Good pun!<br/><br/>Firsty: Ooh – never saw Eyes Wide Shut as I’d rahter stick pins in my eyes to avoid being subjected to Tom and Nicole at once!<br/><br/>CB: By god – she’s got it! You are right – how weird is that? Not weird that you are right but weird that it is the Brady Bunch. Sad wanker that I am I used to LOVE that show – criiiinge.

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