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Confession time

July 28, 2006
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My poor deluded child: Mummy? How do traffic lights know when to change?

Me: Oh, there’s a really tiny person who lives inside the post and they have a remote control. They count to twenty and then they go red, then amber aaaaaaand green!

My poor deluded child: Oh. Are they tall like you?

Me: Nooooooo! They’re only this high (1″ between finger and thumb) and see that plant (weed growing at base of traffic light) that’s their garden.

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Poor deluded child: Oh (quizzically – still thinking). PAUSE. Do they live outside or inside the pole?

Me: Oh, inside. Poor deluded child: Oh (quizzically again). SILENCE.

Him: pondering

Me: wondering why on earth I made up such a ridiculous story – but that really was the image I had in my head at the time.

Later he asked me (while he was having a poo) whether I had noticed something special about Thelma, Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby. Er no I said – what?

Well, he said – they don’t do wee’s or poo’s in the day. It’s so cool, they wait until all the children are in bed and do it while they are asleep.

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Hm…my turn to go “oh….” Fair point I suppose. Good observation.

If it wasn’t for those snoopin’ kids……

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4 Comments
  1. Molly Bloom permalink

    I like your story about the traffic lights. I would like to think that there are little people living inside there. No-one ever excretes on TV. Ever. <br/><br/>I wish I was like that. Hold it in forever…that’s what it should be like. We ‘waste’ so much time in the loo.

  2. First Nations permalink

    i used to believe that about television and the radio. <br/>I WAS VERY SMALL, OK?<br/><br/>i remember in the beginning of the movie ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ where Nicole Kidman takes a demure wee…does that count? she’s a cartoon character.

  3. Chaucer's Bitch permalink

    The first time ever that the sound of a toile flushing was heard in a TV program was on Leave It To Beaver in the 1950s. It caused such a scandal the station issued an apology and the flush wasn’t heard again for 2 decades. On the Brady Bunch, I believe, but I could be wrong.

  4. rockmother permalink

    Molly B: Thank you. Good pun!<br/><br/>Firsty: Ooh – never saw Eyes Wide Shut as I’d rahter stick pins in my eyes to avoid being subjected to Tom and Nicole at once!<br/><br/>CB: By god – she’s got it! You are right – how weird is that? Not weird that you are right but weird that it is the Brady Bunch. Sad wanker that I am I used to LOVE that show – criiiinge.

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