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My Evening So Far

March 2, 2007

Between the hours of nine fifteen and ten fifteen this evening the following happened:

him who snores like a bison’s friend (usually really meek and mild-mannered) turns up unannounced on the doorstep with no t shirt, no shoes or socks and covered in mud. I let him in. I ask him what’s happened. Last thing I knew they were all having a ‘quiet’ drink in the pub. Him who snores like a bison is still in the pub. Meek and mild-mannered friend is being weird and can’t remember what happened. I stick him in the bath and go into another room to call him who snores like a bison. He says he is coming straight home.

Then the phone rings twice in succession. I don’t answer it as I can’t get to it due to a twisted pelvis. Seriously ouch. Am seeing a physio tomorrow. The pain is indescribable.

Then my mobile rings. I answer it. It is the barrister parent of a horribly indulged and manipulative girl at my son’s school. He got into trouble today for hitting her – because his best friend told him to apparently. All involved were reprimanded accordingly. Barrister Dad says he thinks the school is ineffective, lots of other parents have decided to tell their children not to go near mine and that he is alerting the authorities. I have other side issues with the school that I now intend to tack on to his claim. Basically, my 5 year old could get expelled because the school are ineffective in responsibility for the class. I want to cry. I want to cry a lot. But I don’t.

Meanwhile, him who snores like a bison comes in pretty worse for wear. Twenty minutes later I am off the phone. Suddenly Meek and Mild pads down the stairs in a towel and says that there is a lot of water coming through the ceiling. We all rush upstairs (I hobble). And sure enough, water pouring through all the downlights – it’s a mess. Everything gets turned off. Three minutes later a minicab knocks on the door – Meek and Mild just walks down the stairs and gets in it – dressed in two of our towels. We are gobsmacked. All we can do is stand there staring holding buckets. Looks like the ceiling is going to come down.

I go into the bedroom to get more towels.

I look out the window. It’s a full moon.

Now we are sitting in the kitchen ruminating on what on earth has gone on this evening. It’s ridiculous.

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  1. Annie permalink

    Holy crap, Romo! Did you bring a gypsy curse down on your head or something?<br/><br/>Awww… wish your back better. And hope your lights are back on and your ceiling not falling down. <br/><br/>As for ‘alert the authorities’ because two 5 year olds have had a fight – what is this man on?

  2. rockmother permalink

    Annie – I think I’m being punished for something – like ridiculing Gillian McKeith or internet karaoke kings! God knows. I was set for an early night until all that happened. Consequently I slept really badly wondering if my child was a bully (I KNOW he is not) and feeling frustrated as the school is bloody shut today so I can’t even go there and sort it out. I might have to do a proper post on it before I clog up the comments box. Surely if he writes (is writing) to the authorities then they will investigate and get our side too? Oh god, it’s so awful. See you at the quiz x

  3. Betty permalink

    Oh God – keep taking the painkillers. They can work on so many levels.<br/><br/>The whole thing with the barrister dad. Some parents are bloody mad these days, aren’t they? My sister in law works in admin at a school and one of the kids turned up at the office with a sore hand which needed bandaging. Because she was on the phone she made him wait a bit before dealing with the problem. Lo and behold, it turned out later that he’d broken his wrist and the parents had taken advice from a solicitor friend who said that they should sue the school for gross negligence or some other such bullshit. Nothing came of it, as far as I know. Perhaps when those parents calm down a bit they’ll realise a mountain has been made out of a molehill. The kids don’t have much hope with an example set by parents like that!<br/><br/>Oh, and, er, hope you have the number of a good plumber. Best of luck all round.

  4. rockmother permalink

    Betty – thanks for your comment. I’ve just fired off an extremely concise e mail to the headmistress. The whole thing is ridiculous. If anyone needs to move schools it’s the other people and I can guarantee they will have the same problem anywhere they go! And yes – luckily we do have a good local plumber. We are still slightly gobsmacked about last night – can’t quite believe all that happened in such a short space of time.

  5. Jimmy Page's Trousers permalink

    By the gods, RM. What a kerfuffle. You may be right in that it’s McKeith related. She has powers, I’m sure of it. No doctorate, but powers. <br/><br/>My tuppence worth on the barrister dad thing is that he sounds like a complete tosser. Right-minded people can spot a tosser and will treat his comments as one would those of any tosser (i.e. roll their eyes, think "Tosser" and then politely tell him to go away).<br/><br/>I’m afraid I can’t offer anything of use on the pelvis and plumbing situation or on your mild-mannered towel thief except to say I hope that it’s all better soon. <br/><br/>Stiff upper lip, old girl.

  6. Arabella permalink

    What fresh hell etc etc.<br/>People who wear wigs at work, eh? Don’t lose heart; sanity is on your side.<br/>Sorry to hear about your painful pelvis – time to stop playing Twister?

  7. realdoc permalink

    God sounds hellish. Did you ever discover what had happened to the friend who appeared semi-clad and disappeared with your towels?

  8. Look on the brightside rm. You now have an excellent opportunity to check for termites.

  9. rockmother permalink

    Jimmy Pages Trooosers – Yes – stiff upper lip being observed and a stiff drink too. I hope they do roll their eyes and say ‘tosser’. A good lawyer should know that it’s not quite cricket to call people up at home and threaten them before you pile into action. <br/><br/>Arabella – yes – quite a furore. Thank you – I wrote to the headmistress today and got in before him. Hah!<br/><br/>Realdoc – could have done without it all really. Friend called up claiming not to remember anything. He had either had too much to drink and gone psychotic or had drugs too and not told anyone. He looked like he was tripping to me. pathetic. He’s old enough to know better. I wish I hadn’t opened the door and let him in.<br/><br/>Dickley – excellent. Am looking as I speak.

  10. Istvanski permalink

    Crikey, they say bad luck comes in threes (who exactly are ‘they’?) but this is ridiculous!<br/><br/>Was it hubby’s mate that caused the seepage by splashing about too much?<br/><br/>That barrister is just trying to frighten you off because he thinks he can get away with it because of his profession, me thinks.<br/><br/>Go easy with that twisted pelvis of yours. I take it that it’s an old injury that you got from the Elvis film you made? Too much boogying / pelvis presley etc.<br/><br/>Hope it all works out in the mix.

  11. rockmother permalink

    Ister – yes – methinks the barrister is seriously neurotic and throwing his weight around pushed by his wife that does that Lady Di looking at you under the eyelashes trick. Cupid stunts!<br/><br/>Re: the bathroom incident: Fucking idiot friend somehow broke the valve that feeds the water from the pump to shower and bath tap which we think meant all the water had nowhere to go except being pumped at high velocity Bladerunner style through the ceiling. <br/><br/>Twisted Pelvis – good name for a band isn’t it? Cheers – went to physioterrorist yesterday – they reckon they can sort it forever. Oh I do so hope. I am shuffling like a junkie at the moment – so much so that a horrid smackie asked me if I needed ‘gear’ at Chalk Farm Station the other afternoon – oh – the shame!

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