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S.P.A.M. (strange people at mail)

July 18, 2007

Spam in my mailbox this morning:

Hi there my friend. I am desperate. First I’m going to kill myself then I’m going to eat my dog unless I get some meds.

Perhaps they would feel better if they tucked into a Spam Giftset as above? Who generates spam? How does it work? Why does spam sometimes say really disturbing things like: special offer for you ormulu veneer?

Just wondering.

From → Uncategorized

  1. Betty permalink

    Perhaps the e-mail was from Bob Swipe who has run out of painkillers for his bad back!<br/><br/>Spam seems to be generated by the words used in other addresses and e-mails. It’s a bit disturbing to find loads of mails with my full name assuring me that I can make myself more virile than other men.

  2. Knights of the Round Table permalink

    Don’t blame <a href=’’ rel=’nofollow’>us</a> Missus!

  3. Geoff permalink

    Luckily I don’t get any spam, though I used to love spam fritters as a kid.<br/><br/>Maybe that’s what the olive oil in the gift pack is for – to healthily fry spam fritters.<br/><br/>Yummers!

  4. Howesy permalink

    Now I don’t want to seem a pedant, but surely killing oneself before eating the dog is a tad silly. Unless you’re the dog of course when I’m sure that killing first would be the option he’d recommend.<br/>If he could talk of course.<br/>It would just be a bit of a growl to a spammer in need of meds.<br/><br/>I’ve just lately begun to receive hundreds of spams a day, as opposed to about 20. I never knew I could be so popular with those little blue pill people. They must be hard up for customers…

  5. Arabella permalink

    I live in a town that has an annual Spam Festival – la Spamarama. Very pink and piggy.

  6. savannah permalink

    there’s some little machine somewhere gaining artificial intelligence and then…one day’s bladerunner..and the androids will be coming after us for not answering the spam…i swear, sugar..we are in deep shit now!

  7. rockmother permalink

    Betty – yes I’ve had a few with my name in too – it’s a bit disconcerting to be sure<br/><br/>Knights – ni!<br/><br/>Geoff – you are so lucky not to get spam. My brother used to love spam fritters too and came home early from school once writhing in agony with stomachache as he had gone up for fifths of spam fritters at lunch. Oh how I laughed in that really mean big sister way.<br/><br/>Howesey – yes – wouldn’t you eat the dog and then kill yourself? Yes I’m getting a spamheavy these days – I keep getting ones about erectile dysfunction and adobe software..<br/><br/>Arabella – oh no – is that true? I want pictures!<br/><br/>Savannahmama – yes – like in a Tim Burton film – spam aliens – heeelp.

  8. JDA permalink

    Spontaneous Puke And Miasma = SPAM….Miasma…what a brilliant word that is.<br/><br/>Frank Zappa once offered an audience he was performing for to submit their underwear to him live on stage. He said that he knew a woman who was prepared to make a quilt from the submitted underwear, and the fact that the underwear would NOT be washed before the manufacture of the said quilt would enhance the local MIASMA of the finished piece…..not a lot of people know that.

  9. JDA permalink

    OH….just thought I’d let you know

  10. JDA permalink

    Go on then…..get ya dictionaries out!!!

  11. rockmother permalink

    Jif – that’s absolutely damn miasmatic – thank you for that enlightening information. Brilliant.

  12. llewtrah permalink

    So they’re coming back as a flesh-eating zombie? Or vampire or something.<br/><br/>Religious symbols – check, most religions catered for. What if the undead is an atheist?<br/>Stake – check<br/>Steak – also check (for dyslexic vampire)<br/>Garlic – check<br/>Silver bullets – is there any silver in a sharpened 5p piece these days?<br/><br/>That should keep the dog-eating undeads away.

  13. rivergirlie permalink

    you’re being a bit harsh, romo. ok, so all that viagra stuff is annoying but i’ve had a wonderful job offer – in iceland. plus some excellent stock tips that i’m sure will make me rich, and i’ve made some lovely new friends in nigeria – and not just anyone … most of them seem to be related to wealthy businessmen and tribal chiefs.

  14. First Nations permalink

    i seem to keep winning lotteries in the UK. now, as i live one entire ocean and one entire continent away from the uk, how did i buy those tickets, you ask? that, my friends, is competition level sleepwalking.

  15. rockmother permalink

    Llewtrah – yes – a viagra munching dog wrangler probably ;-)<br/><br/>Rivergirlie – oh yes – I’ve been asked to send money to fund a big railway in Africa and when it’s up and running I’ll get a million back – they just need my sort code and account no. <br/><br/>Firstness – yes – I’ve won a Spanish lottery before muchos euros big pain in assos

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