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Bollock-Grabbing Limpers

January 19, 2008

Why do teenagers (and Ricky Martin) do this?


and this?


and this?


and why do they wear jeans like this?


and walk with that limp like they have a drawing pin stuck in the ball of their foot? I read somewhere that the baggy bum showing trouser thing came from US prison wear. I sort of see where they are coming from with that but why? I think the man on the escalator above looks like he needs a good firm wedgie if you ask me.

I encountered a teenager doing the whole crotch-grabbing limp thing yesterday and I admit that I rather pathetically sunk to his level by shouting ‘wanker’ out the window at him Withnail and I style as I drove past in the Wagon of Rock . It cheered me up immensely. His whole act crumbled before my eyes. It was quite something.

There has been a lot of talk about Tom Cruise and his speaking in tongues effort on youtube last week. Well look here – it is the proof we knew to be true all along


“hopelessly insane” – you can’t get more conclusive than that can you?

Talking of insane, psychedelic drug-induced space paranoics – check this out – Raquel Welch and Her Amazing Space Dancing Clog Trio from Bolton

Isn’t that just the best?

Later pop-pickers. xx

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  1. I can’t speak for the young folks rm but I grab mine every now and then. Making sure it’s still there I think.

  2. Clair permalink

    Mmm, string underpant muffin bottom…bet that drives the ladies wild!

  3. sean permalink

    I can’t get the crotch grabbing thing at all- I mean it can’t be their dick, they all can’t have such big members that you can grab in one swipe. It’s in a lower position to start with, unless they’re starting to add little position sacks (((lying to the left or right, however I notice they all seem to hang to the right- perhaps you’re gay if it’s on the left))) inside the underpants; otherwise you’d grab and crush, and end up doing a ball bender on your knees. I give up.<br/>I’ll leave it to the last act- Raquel,the power ranger- certainly the best;-)

  4. rockmother permalink

    Dickley – Most men do don’t they? I seem to spend most of my time telling Son of Rock to get his hands out of his trousers! Mind you, he is only six so I supposed he is allowed.<br/><br/>Clairness – do you think he was sporting a string vest as well? My grandad used to wear one of those every day in the spring and summer – he reverted to filled in ones autumn and winter.<br/><br/>Seanster – maybe they have ‘lunchbox lifts’? Pouch-like cushion things that sit in their rear-exposed pants that sort of lift the bits higher up so they can grab them and look really hard? Anyway, isn’t Raquel fab? I would like to travel back in time and be there when they made that film.

  5. Yes I suppose we all do it to some extent. It’s a bit of company when all else fails. Someone to depend on.

  6. rockmother permalink

    Dickley – I think I do a female equivalent of that. When I’m anxious I inadvertently clutch my right boob – or worse – both. I caught myself doing it in a meeting once when I was trying to explain something really important. I can’t help it.

  7. Annie permalink

    That Raquel dance is awesome. Oh to have legs like hers. (Comments also v funny on YouTube ‘Raquel is martial arts expert – did fight choreography on Jacky Chan’s movies’)<br/><br/>Did you all meet up yesterday? I missed it because I thought it was next week… 😦

  8. rockmother permalink

    Annie – I know – the Raquel Space Dance is the best. Yes – there was a meet of some sorts but I didn’t/couldn’t go as am beyond skint at moment x PS: Dickley did a nice write-up of I’m Not There by the way x

  9. Billy permalink

    The bollock-grabbing is also common amongst a certain kind of macho man, the kind who sits with his legs as far apart as possible.<br/><br/>Yes, you’ve got a big cock, I get it. But I need some room too.

  10. Jimmy Page's Trousers permalink

    Ahh, Raquel. What a dance. Futurific, spacetastic and pert-bottomorama.<br/><br/>As for shouting "wanker" at all of the wankers I encounter, I fear I would be hoarse before I made it to work in the mornings. I’ll continue to just think it in a superior manner.

  11. rockmother permalink

    Billster – Oh I hate that! Spread out why don’t you?! I get all panicky in the tube when people do that – nothing worse than personal space being invaded like that.<br/><br/>Jimmy Pages High-Waisted Troosers – Raquel was rather fab wasn’t she? Pan’s People weren’t a patch on her. Hhmm…re: shouting wanker like that – perhaps I should have just run him over instead?

  12. rockmother permalink

    Billster – look how many times I said ‘that’. What a sorry excuse for a blogger I am. Sorry – I haven’t had a coffee yet so am all over the shop..

  13. Istvanski permalink

    RE: Bollock grabbing. Teenagers still do it because they are haunted by Michael Jackson while Ricky Martin does it to stop the female fans from "kopping a feel".<br/>But who was the originator of crotch cupping?

  14. rockmother permalink

    Ister – I reckon it was either tom Jones or PJ Proby…

  15. llewtrah permalink

    I think men get worried their tackle might have vanished so they keep checking. There’s a hysteria-induced syndrome in parts of Africa/Asia called "disappearing penis syndrome" where sufferers are terrified their bits are vanishing back into their body. Maybe it’s that.

  16. But size doesn’t matter llewtrah. That’s what the ladies always tell me. I know they’re just being kind.

  17. katty permalink

    I’ve always wanted to nick a phone from a boy-with-saggy-trousers – and then run – and watch them limp pathetically after me, hobbling along, cobbled by their ridiculous hanging jeans.<br/><br/>I was 42 last week.<br/><br/>Yes, the child is an only child. I think the fact I have two does make a difference (to me, for now).

  18. rockmother permalink

    Llewtrah – maybe – or are they just checking their stash hasn’t dropped out or got dis-lodged? <br/><br/>Dickley – it’s what you do with it isn’t it? I wish they would hypnotise all men who go for penis extension surgery with that fact. Ouch. Are they mad?<br/><br/>Katty – ha ha – I think you should! Re: other comment – hmmm..I thought so and yes – I think you are right. Nice to see you re-emerging – I’ve missed your blog x

  19. Anonymous permalink

    My three pet peeves all in one place! Low pants = easy access for gay hookups between classes. Crotch grab started by Michael Jackson; maybe all these boys like little boys?

  20. Carlo permalink

    Good Job! 🙂

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