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Ugly DJ Syndrome

March 8, 2008

Now and again I listen to my local radio station – Radio Jackie FM – especially in the car for some reason. There is something really comforting and normal about local radio wherever you are. Radio Jackie’s main claim is that they go out ‘Live! From Tolworth Tower!’ I don’t even know where Tolworth is. I used to catch the 72 bus from Hammersmith to Barnes after school – the 72 went to Tolworth Broadway – that is all I know about Tolworth. Actually the real reason why I like Radio Jackie is because they play a lot of 70’s and 80’s music which always sends me into a reminiscent reverie of too much eyeliner, remembering boys I used to fancy and feeling ashamed at knowing all the words to songs from bands I purported to hate at the time (mainly Duran Duran). The other thing I like about Radio Jackie are the local advertisements – “Get on down to Ashford Aquatics! Just past the Middlesex Crematorium on the A326. Ashford Aquatics – come on dooooown!”

Radio Jackie FM claims to be SW London and North Surrey’s best radio station – actually I think it is the only radio station that covers that area. On looking at their website it reminded me how weird DJ’s look in real life. You can build up a great persona with your radio voice can’t you but in the flesh you might often look a bit of a shock. Why is that? Why are most DJ’s so odd looking? Jimmy Saville being the most extreme example…..


Bruno Brookes with his massive bulbous forehead, Noel Edmonds with his tidy beard and Janice Long with her utter fright of a hairdo. Did they all get dressed in the dark I wonder?

I nominate my Radio Jackie DJ Hairstyle Horror of the Week to be Mike ‘Mullet’ Hayes! Take it away Mike!


Mike’s on at 16:00GMT today if any of you are interested…

Who is your favourite DJ and why?

My only favourite DJ ever was John Peel.
And Alan ‘Fluff’ Freeman

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  1. Istvanski permalink

    Who the fook is "Fluuf"?

  2. Geoff permalink

    Norwegian death metal DJ.

  3. rockmother permalink

    Geoff – Tim Westwood shouldn’t be allowed to speak – ever – unless he can talk properly like he probably does at home. My friend who is very strait-laced used to say that John Peel only played ‘unemployment music’. I find that very funny. Radio Caroline was good and I used to love Graham Dean on Capital in 1926!<br/><br/>Seanster – oh I love Bob Harris – he is one of the best.<br/><br/>Ister – only Jimmy Saville could get away with that – what a freakoid he is. Yes I forgot about Danny Baker – he is excellent – I’m a big fan. Don’t be fooled by smarmy Robert Elms – he just has a very good researcher that’s all. I would rather be deaf than have to listen to him although I do know what you mean about his show.<br/><br/>Oooooh – that’s where Tolworth is – that big interchange on the A3!<br/><br/>F U N E Fluuf? 😉

  4. Betty permalink

    I learned everything I know about the history of popular music from listening to Jimmy Savile’s Double Top Ten Show of charts from the ’50’s onwards when I was young, which is terribly sad to admit, but there you go. I once heard a Radio One documentary about him which was one of the most bizarre, disturbing things ever.<br/><br/>Used to listen to Radio Luxembourg as well, with the signal fading out every five minutes and all those DJ’s with Mid Atlantic accents: Tony Prince’s voice was a weird Lancastrian/New York hybrid!<br/><br/>I suppose credit has to go to Peel, even though there was usually a "one good song every twenty minutes" ratio and I used to wake up tired every day before going to school because of listening to him. He had a major influence on the music I listened to at the time.<br/><br/>Most hated DJ? A tie between DLT (he refused to play PIL on the breakfast show chart rundown! Boo! Hiss!), Slimey Bates and Mike "Good Mates With Cliff And Shakey" Read.<br/><br/>Only listen to odd bits of radio these days – Gaydar because it place the kind of mindless dance music I love, Radio One occasionally in the car (Annie Mac is the least annoying of the presenters). You have to pick and choose with Radio Two, which can be a bit bland, smug, or both. Oh, should mention Desmond Carrington on Radio Two. The man is a god!<br/><br/>Haven’t heard much local radio but the highlight of stations in The Midlands was the adverts for car repair shops, furniture stores and so on. The best was one for a windows/conservatories company which used the tune of Oliver’s Army: "Oliver’s windows are on their way! Oliver’s windows are here to stay!" Pathetic.<br/><br/>Has this equalled the word count for Istvanski’s comment yet?

  5. tony permalink

    My All-Time FAV DJ is (was?) TONY PRINCE.He was on Caroline then moved to Luxembourg.<br/>The reason?<br/>Oh, just cos he read out a letter of mine once.I was 15 &amp; going away on my first holiday with a few mates to a caravan in Great Yarmouth.I asked him to tell the World my address + say we wanted to meet up with some 15-16 year old Chicks while on holiday!<br/>We got tons of replies! (Thank You Sweet Prince!)<br/>Come to think of it……..Today it would never happen? Internet Grooming <i>before</i> the Internet!!!!!!

  6. Malc permalink

    Listening to Alan Freeman on a Saturday afternoon, hiding from the prefects who wanted us to go out on cross-country runs- the true 70s public school experience.<br/><br/>Robert Elms always was a phoney and I suspect still is.

  7. rockmother permalink

    Bettster – Oh I forgot all about Radio Luxembourg – I was brought up on Radio Luxembourg and Caroline. It was pot-luck whether when you tuned in to Luxembourg especially whether you were going to get it or not. As for John Peel – I thank my favourite granny Elsie for buying me a transistor radio for my 11th birthday. I used to put it under my pillow and listen to John Peel secretly as I was not allowed to tune in normally. Ugh – Mike Read. I went through a phase at the end of the 80’s thinking Simon Bate’s afternoon show with Mr Spoons et al was really funny. And I have to say I used to love Our Tune – they were the radio equivalent of the problem pages in Jackie magazine.<br/><br/>I love crap radio ads – Olivers Windows sounds inspired. I like the punjabi stations coming down the M1 from ooop North.<br/><br/>Tony – that’s so funny – you were way ahead of your time – a sort of precursor to the bebo/myspace parent’s homewrecker parties of nowadays – see here:<br/><br/>articles/news/news.<br/>html?in_article<br/>_id=528593&amp;in_page_id=1770<br/><br/>Malc the Pigman – thanks for dropping by again Malc – yes – the countdown from 40 to 1 – it was so exciting. Poor Fluff – he was a very nice man apparently and a good friend of John Peel.<br/><br/>In a twisted way – I quite liked Paul Gambaccini’s broadcasts too at various points in my life and I laughed out loud at something Terry Wogan said on Radio 2 the other morning – he was slagging Joni Mitchell – it was genuinely funny.

  8. rockmother permalink

    Oops – I meant to write slagging OFF Joni Mitchell. Jesus – might as well have written shagging.

  9. Billy permalink

    I’ve actually been to Tolworth. It isn’t very exciting.

  10. Annie permalink

    I used to really love Mark Radcliffe and Lard. They were genuinely funny (unlike most of them, who just think they’re funny and are really just loud and irritating) and they had a really great relationship with people who’d call in, not patronising but on an equal level. Plus they played good music. I don’t know why they got taken off, they were fantastic. And yet, Chris Moyles prospered… I don’t understand the radio bosses. Or the public.

  11. I liked Jack Jackson….anyone remember him? ‘Fluff’ Freeman got his name so legend has it because he always had fluff on his jumper. Fountain of knowledge that’s me.

  12. Planet Mondo permalink

    I don’t know about favourite – but my least fave Steve Wright, Simon Bates (uuggh – just so smug) and Adrian Juste <br/><br/>Certainly Bates, Andy Peebles, weren’t the best looking boys in the bunch on my Radio 1 calendar and Jonathan King, and Paul Gambaccini look like sock puppets

  13. rivergirlie permalink

    my theory is that they’re dj’s precidely because they’re funny looking. i’ve always thought i have a good face for radio. any pretty ones segue into telly, like richard hammond.

  14. Axe Victim permalink

    I love radio Jackie. They always seem to turn up at local events too, and are really crap at it, but that’s all part of the charm. A friend of Mrs. Axe used to work at Star FM run out of Slough. That was the best/worst station I ever heard. As is Capital. I like BBC London, but it’s still GLR to me. I like Tony Blackburn too, although I was shocked to hear him play Billy Idol’s White Wedding on the weekend show. Looks like old Tone is just in it for the money but who cares? It’s only the wireless. But for me it was the young Johnny ‘tootin’ Walker that floated my boat musically speaking. He was a tad so cal but so was I when I was a lad.

  15. Haven't said hi for a while permalink

    How come nobody has mentioned Kenny Everett?<br/><br/>And for all you old people out there, what about Radio 390? Circa 1965 or ’66? No, oh well, it must be just me then.

  16. Batbitch permalink

    I agree with rivergirlie, they’re in radio because they’re too funny looking for TV.<br/><br/>My personal fav. though not a real DJ, was Dr. Johnny Fever, from WKRP.<br/><br/>(As for real ones? We’ve had some fairly embarrassing ones here in the Cleveland area.)

  17. FirstNations permalink

    body I cite is going to mean a thing to y’all, but know that you have all made me insanely jealous!<br/>youthful fave: Uncle Don Wright of KGON…fighting censorship of the airwaves fearlessly one double entendre at a time<br/><br/>once i knew better fave: Ludeman on the 10 to 2am shift at KINK. warped, informative, prone to tangents…FCC? what FCC? never heard of it. offered drug ‘how to’ tutorials to the neophyte onair. god i miss him.

  18. JDA permalink

    Tolworth? that’a a stones throw from me, if it’s the same Tolworth that is?

  19. rockmother permalink

    Billy – how exciting! Was it good?<br/><br/>Annie – Chris Moyles should be harpooned for his own safety<br/><br/>Dickley – you are the all-seeing oracle<br/><br/>Planet Mondo – hello – sock puppets – I am still laughing about that. Jonathan King looked like he had actually swallowed a sock puppet – or a small boys sock perhaps? Oooh did I say that? Yes I did!<br/><br/>Rivergirlie – uugh! Richard Hammond isn’t pretty. Please tell me that you are back to your normal witty self and that is one of your brilliant jokes? Oh god – you are not his wife are you? I didn’t mean it. He’s lovely (it’s jsut that he looks like a dwarf-hamster with highlights and bug-eyes). x<br/><br/>Axe Minster Victim – god I had forgotten about StarFm – as Anre Previn would have said – "quite possibly the worst radio station of all time". Yes – Johhnie Walker was rather superb – I forgot to mention him.<br/><br/>Dave We Know It’s You Are You Back From Hong Kong Yet – well I didn’t mention Kenny as I knew you would! He was the best – actually a good example of someone who crossed over from radio to telly rather damn bloody well xxx<br/><br/>Batgirl – ooh – I bet you have – have you called in to any of them with lewd suggestions?<br/><br/>HRH Firstness – Uncle Don Wright sounds the don if you ask me – I may have to conduct some side research xxx<br/><br/>Jifdumpster – bloody hell – or should I say smegging hell where’ve you blinking well been? I think it may possibly eb the same Tolworth. I fear there maybe only one Radio Jackie going out live form the Tolworth Tower!

  20. Bock the Robber permalink

    What about David Jensen? We listened to him with a crackly earpiece under the covers when we were supposed to be asleep and he turned us on to stuff that wasn’t just the usual homogenised pap. <br/><br/>Kid Jensen: Pop music hero!

  21. wyndham permalink

    Most DJs/presenters are certifiable maniacs, and god knows I’ve met enough of them. Fluff was lovely though. <br/><br/>The rest: deranged.

  22. rockmother permalink

    Bockster – Kid Jensen? What David ‘Kid’ Jensen? Oh that one. Erm – I used to listen to him and you are right he played half decent sounds but by god he wsa ugly on Top of the Pops and wore fawn nylon jackets I seem to recall.<br/><br/>Wyndham – welcome oh great one. Yes – you are spot on there – look at Andy ‘deranged’ Kershaw – he has had to go home to mother to get leave of his senses. Tragic.

  23. Istvanski permalink

    Leave Jensen alone, please. I simply won’t tolerate any negative vibes flowing in his direction. He got on my train once and he supports Palace.<br/>’Nuff said.

  24. Anonymous permalink

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  25. Anonymous permalink

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