Rockmother

I’m in a bad mood. Got too much to do in too little time and it’s all my own fault. Plus, superstitious that I am I have to take the effing Christmas tree down before we all turn into pumpkins before midnight. Actually, I’d quite like to turn into a pumpkin – at least I wouldn’t have to do so much except be made into soup or posh ravioli. As you can no doubt guess I am glad the holiday is over – too much loud telly, shouting guests and children (mine and visitors) and too much me shouting ‘stop slamming doors!!!’ to all and sundry.

Am off to Blackpool at 05:45 tomorrow morning – lovely – to start shooting a pilot for a feature about 4 international Elvis impersonators and how they fare in the largest Elvis Contest in Europe to be held this weekend. I’ll upload choice pics of our jaunt next week. Am apparently going to meet Elvis’s ‘hairdresser’. What can he possibly do? The King has been dead since his ‘terminal event on the commode’ in 1977. Weirdo Americans – can’t wait.

Meanwhile, I am dashing around grumpily………………laters.

elvis.impersonator
Originally uploaded by rockmother.

I’m going to Blackpool next week to meet this man to talk about an idea for a film. Watch this space.

Does anyone know where Bethleham is? My son is an angel in the nursery nativity play next week and has been given the following lines to say:

Follow the star to Bethleham. It will take you to baby Jesus.

Is that like Birmingham? They have also got to sing and I quote: “Twinkel twinkel little star”. Christ! What’s going on? Thank goodness (not God) he can’t read yet. Next he’ll be saying “Mum I done a nativity play” Aaaaaggghhh!!!! Call me a puritan but I ‘ate bad spellin’ innit.

me as lady penelope
Originally uploaded by rockmother.

My mad friend Dr Michael Bannon sent me this. For some reason he thinks I resemble Lady Penelope from Thunderbirds. I am truly touched.

I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here should be re-titled:

I’m An E-list has-been fuckwit – Kick Me or

I’m Someone No-one Actually Knows or Cares About – Please Leave Me Here

F*@cking hell, I’ve just had to endure half of tonight’s I’m A Celebrity… due to sadly obsessed stepson who made us watch it. Feel strangely defiled by having to ingest such utter inanity. From where I’m sitting you have to be

(a) really desperate to go on it and have no sense of self-worth
(b) have just come out of re-hab (like we give a shit)
(c) need to go back to re-hab
(d) have no career whatsoever (apart from big-teeth Janet – she is an intelligent person – what’s she doing??)
(e) be boring in the extreme

Is there no end to reality dross on tv ? I watched the first Big Brother and a bit of the second series although I blame childbirth for that. After having my child I used to sit up breastfeeding at two in the morning watching crap Jerry Springer/Judge Judy/Ricki and anything I could set my eyes on on cable. I think the lack of sleep and plummetting hormones made me secretly want to be trailer trash. I’m better now – obviously otherwise I would have gaily sat through tonight’s pile of poop and really enjoyed it. Oh, and I can’t believe that broken boy band saddo Brian Harvey thinks that a ‘proper meal’ is a Big Mac and Fries. Get a life mate. Take me back to the sanatorium – it was nice and fluffy and warm there……..

I’m not really sure whether any one has ever read my blog apart from myself checking it for comments. But for those whoever have – I am back. I haven’t really been away but had a bad attack of blog panic and couldn’t bring myself to post anything for the last few months.

Check out my rockmother photostream @ flickr for a little random visual commentary of what I’ve been up to whilst blogsilent.

Bear with me, I’m still learning about blogging and am probably very behind the times in terms of bloggers etiquette etc. I am ashamed to admit that I only got broadband 6 months ago. Next – I am going to build my own website – don’t hold your breath – it isn’t imminent.

Currently wallowing in my newly purchased Stranglehold! 18 punk classics cd – a bargain £4.99 at HMV. I can only play it when no one else is in the house as I get comments such as ‘what a pile of shit’ and ‘what a load of crap’ et al….well, I don’t think so – at least I was listening to it the first time round and not copying it really badly like some bands around these days.

I did something for the first time this week: I went to play 12 games of bingo at the Camberwell branch of Gala Bingo Halls to celebrate my friend Alex’s birthday. Quite confusing at first and embarrassing as I turned up in posh coat and without my very own fat pen. Not a good look. I was amazed at how thick the air was with smoke and even more amazed to see a man wheezing heavily with a ventolin asthma inhaler placed neatly by his game card just in case! I did think to tell him there was a non-smoking tier upstairs but then I realised everyone was smoking fags and dope up there as well. I drank 2 pints of fantastically cheap lager and had a packet of crisps. I didn’t win anything but it was a classy night out. I’d go again.

Until the next time…….

Been really busy for ages mainly working and looking after my son while my partner has been away filming in Romania. He’s back now so we are back to more washing and less duvet scenarios!!

We went out or should I say were taken out to Gordon Ramsey at Claridges the other night which was a fine dining experience apart from the fact that everythging actually seemed really salty!? I was going to drop el Gordo a line but wondered if that would then mean I was instantly banned from all Ramsey establishments.

Has anyone else had the same problem?

Bye for now.

Up at the crack of dawn this morning – 05:13 to be exact – early. Spent the next hour helping my son to not wee all over the loo seat and reading an abc book with a big fluffy rabbit embedded in the crook of my neck. We have a milk van – actually no let me clarify – milk articulated lorry that delivers milk at 4.45 unbelievably noisily. What happened to the battery operated ones? Or am I the only one with a 40 ton artic clammering down our road clinking with bottles each morning?

The wren eggs are still safe and none have hatched yet. I’ll let you know when they do.

A squirrel runs across the street and the patient wren sits quietly on the nest in the bush outside the window. Feeling a bit jaded and I can’t do any work today. I am in the middle of an MA and we had our end of year drinks last night. One too many red wines I fear mixed with working mother duties at some ungodly hour this morning. I never used to feel this tired – surely?

Am new to this blog thing. This is my very first blog and I am worried about being boring. Everyone elses blogs look great and are so interesting. And then I realised that all of these worries are nothing compared to the terrible things that are happening in the world. All morning I have been haunted by the last picture taken of Nick Berg alive. I was struck by the way he looked – like a tiny, frightened child wanting his parents. So vulnerable and helpless. I wish I hadn’t read that he had screamed as his head had been cut off. I wish that none of it had ever happened. I am truly ashamed to be known as British. It’s all got so out of hand.

Anyway I shall attempt to cheer up and post more thoughts soon. In the meantime I will attempt to brush up on ‘how to make your blog look nice’ and ‘how to post pictures’ etc. If my blog in anyway could look like my mates over at bowblog and catfunt I would be really pleased. Check it out…