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May 31, 2006

Christ e-bay is dull. I made the dumba mistake of putting something on for a quid thinking – that’ll get them going – and it will go for lots and lots (finger to bottom lip, strokes white fluffy cat on lap and throws head back to laugh evilly). No it won’t – it went for bloody £1.70. And then – I clearly stated buyer collect. No they won’t collect – I’ve been enviegled into having some clandestine meeting on the Silverlink platform at Richmond Station tomorrow morning for the handover (aside: no doubt Swipe will be observing undercover from his beige Mini Metro in the disabled section of the carpark). She gets a premium Graco 4-in-1 Travel System (pram thing) and I get a postal order for £1.70. Oh woopie bloody doo! But…it is all in a good cause and I suppose I don’t mind as I found out that she has 6 kids one of which (the teenage daughter) is pregnant. She also told me that her neice (also a teenager – ooh the youth of today!) had just had a miscarriage and they wanted to try again so between them the £1.70 bargain will be worth its weight in gold.

I arranged that today in between meeting my very tall (6’7″) dear friend Alex for lunch and then taking secret pictures of crack addicts outside a drop-in centre in Endell St while we had a coffee. I don’t know why I did it but I did. Probably for the same inexplicable reason that I always manage to make eye contact with weirdo’s on the street. Just can’t help it. Alex then made me go and see a clairvoyant Tarot reader man called Jan at Mysteries in Monmouth St. He said my aura colour was very yellow and that I had a fantastic relationship – full of devotion and love. I had to eventually correct him and tell him that actually I am teetering on the brink of separation/divorce (not married but same scenario’ish). I then managed to pick the Death card to signify my other half. I nearly laughed out loud and did sort of smirk as Mr Reader looked very uncomfortable about this. And then he basically told me to do what I was doing already – biding my time, trying hard and not quite giving up yet blah blah blah. I was marginally more concerned about a work proposition I’ve had lately and he said ‘oh yes – just go ahead and do it’. Great. Thanks. Really glad I just parted with £30 to be completely misread and then hastily told what I sort of already know.

We then headed of to the windy shores of the South Bank for, in my case, a massive glass of Montepulciano. Only just thawing out. We sat outside and it was freezing. Didn’t tell the other half about tarot or taking pictures of crackheads as he just wouldn’t get it. Reception when I got home on a scale of 1-5 was a cool lower 3. Marginally better than it has been of late….

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  1. Robert A. Swipe permalink

    ……I have a first name you know!!!<br/><br/>(Jesus H. Christ – what I wouldn’t give to be able to remember what it is right now….)<br/><br/>RE; Ebay. Stop it now. You will eventually get ’round to looking at vinyl LPs. You will see, on ebay, vinyl LPs you do not already own. You will start bidding for them – carefully at first, then with exponentially increasing recklessness and derring do. Before long, your house will begin to subside under the weight of hastily acquired LPs you have listened to once. You will be deserted by your partner and offspring, left alone with nothing (well, maybe the odd hundred weight of Clifford T. Ward albums…) You will need to get a proper job. No more will you wile away the day lurking in your mini metro (sold to fund a misguided Booker T &amp; the MGs acquisition…)in the disabled parking bay outside Richmond station…<br/><br/>I tell you Mater of Rockingness, it is a slippery slope…..<br/><br/><br/>Still, look at it as ??1.70 off your tarot reading, I guess…<br/><br/><br/>Love on you,<br/><br/>Bob

  2. ivan permalink

    Wow, eBay as social network, I love it.

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