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It’s Very Un-Me But….

January 19, 2007

I joined the gym last week.

It’s ok – the novelty hasn’t worn off yet although I hate the cross-trainer already. I went backwards on it on the first go and didn’t even realise. I must have looked like a prize chump.
I’ve already sussed out who are the ones that are obsessed and live in the gym. There’s a meathead in the gym bit who is already there each time I go and is still there by the time I leave whatever time or day of the week. He prances around as if he has an onion up his bottom and lifts really heavy weights in a very controlled manner. Then he moves onto the cross-trainer and puts it on the vertical hill impossible setting and works out on his tiptoes, winceing and sweating as if in real pain. What a plonker. There is a much quieter room upstairs (next to the bar – I’ll get onto that) with lots of exercise bikes in it. The first time I went there was a man on the farthest bike by the window who looked like he had had a bucket of water poured over him so much so that the bike was covered in his sweat and a puddle was forming on the floor. Horrendous. When I went the other day there was no one in the room which meant I had it to myself. I glanced over to the bike where he was last time and then realised I must have just missed him as there was a huge puddle of water at the base of the farthest bike. Disgusting! Next time I see him I’m going to ask him to clean up after himself! And yes – it has a pool and a dance studio thing (no I won’t be going in there unless they are doing Bus Stop classes see above) and squash courts (no thanks) and a bar! It’s lovely. It’s right at the top of the building and has a semi-panoramic view of the outside, newspapers, fully stocked wide semi-circular bar and nice squashy leather sofas – so when you are gasping after burning 300 calories and cycled the equivalent of half the Tour De France you can just stagger upstairs and undo it all by having a lovely glass of something. I was good – I had a fizzy water. (And a glass of wine when I got home). Of course.

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  1. JDA permalink

    Very industrious of you RoMo to try and shake off those pounds you gained at yuletide, but wouldn’t jogging do the same job? you’ll feel just as knackered afterwards but it’s free!<br/><br/>Oh, and that puddle you speak of the one that man leaves behind him…you sure it’s sweat?

  2. rockmother permalink

    It’s not really a shaking off yuletide pounds scenario – it’s more just a general fitness to balance out the see-sawing of work shenanigans as I am either working long frantic hours standing and not sitting down or working long hours mainly sitting down. Consequently I thought if I did a bit of regular exercise it might help. Jogging’s not for me – I was 100m sprint champ at school – short distances fast only. And yes – maybe he just wee’d himself? Oh dear.

  3. llewtrah permalink

    Chasing round after work projects keeps me fit. Some days I barely manage to get a lunchtime! It was even more exhausting when I was on the upper floor and they were on the lower and at opposite ends of the building!

  4. Istvanski permalink

    Good luck with the gym RoMo.<br/><br/>I think I’ll start lifting weights once a week (pints on a Saturday afternoon).

  5. Strewth, I don’t like the look of that machine. Looks like it might have ideas of its own. Be careful rm.

  6. JDA permalink

    WHAT! still in bed? get up…

  7. Betty permalink

    Oh, I couldn’t face joining a gym. All those muscle Marys, people in expensive designer sportswear, glass everywhere so people outside can look in and point and laugh at you – oh, the humiliation! I’ll stick to my at home workouts and half hours on the walking treadmill. Mind you, I might get one of Kath from Kath &amp; Kim’s cross trainers, except the one she’s on looks like it could do damage to the reproductive organs.

  8. rockmother permalink

    Yes Betty – it looks more like some sort of ‘birthing’ aid doesn’t it. Your comment is timely as I am skiving a planned visit to the gym today. Too tired!

  9. Spinsterella permalink

    I went a bit delerious and joined a gym when I turned thirty. The first time I went on the cross-trainer I only lasted two minutes and I thought I was going to die.

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