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So Unfair – Widget Wars and Slapperwear

April 1, 2007

I hate Acidpod. Acidpod just got my desperately wanted/needed must-have Terry De Havilland Wonder Woman shoes!! (See previous post). He/she/it must have had one of those nasty widget thingy’s that whomever the highest bidder is (me – by £35 quid over current bid showing at the time) sneaks in at the last 2 seconds with a bid £1.09 higher than my maximum leaving me no time – except for gasping in astonishment time – to hurriedly trounce the bastard. Perhaps it is a sign that I have enough highly impractical shoes and really don’t need any more. Well, of course I didn’t need them – not in the way that I don’t actually have any shoes to wear at all but I did need them in a ‘me’ way – as they were so well, me. Pah – I hope they give poohface Acidpod perpetual blisters for being such a dirty rotten cheat.

Anyway – a fine time was had by all at the 70’s disco themed party I went to last night – snacks were of the moment – guacamole and cheese/pineapple sticks and chili con carne and garlic bread (what? bread? with garlic?).


Very Abigail’s party. Me – I went as Studio 54 trash as I couldn’t really think of trying to be anything else. Here’s a really bad photo taken before I left – shame you can’t get the full trashy combo effect of side ponytail, lurex halter neck top, dreadful jewellery and gold lurex socks topped off with lashings of lipgloss and fine glittery blusher.


Rather alarmingly – apart from the sunglasses I didn’t actually have to go out and purchase anything I chose to wear. And I can’t believe I used to wear those tight leopard skin trousers to work about 11 years ago. What was I thinking of? What could I have looked like? Why didn’t anybody try to stop me? The only slightly pleasing angle on them and much to my astonishment is that I can still fit into them. The hideous circular shiny silver bubble coat-thing is a home-sewn ebay purchase of about a year ago. I was quite taken with it and bought it as a piece of tacky memorabilia. It came in very handy last night and billowed dramatically in the breeze. I’m sure my neighbour’s think I am supplementing income or raising money for the next round of school fees by tripping out as a slapper. I was praying that no one would see me as I left the house but my shoes made a bit of a racket tippy tapping down the street so goodness knows. I got a few funny looks at the traffic lights a couple of times.

Anyway – good fun was had by all – a few people seemed to take it a little too far like a renowned soak of a wife that decided to sidle up to the host’s husband and get all frisky and physically suggestive. I did have a millisecond-long paranoid thought of whether the ‘themed party’ was actually all a front for a swingers-do but thankfully I just took another glug of my spritzer, re-adjusted my white shades and pulled myself together. I went on my own so was probably a bit nervous as I didn’t know that many people and was evidently dressed as a tart. Then I got a sudden worry over whether I had bad cameltoe as the trousers were rather tight – although they managed to survive a rather vigorous ‘rowing floor dance’ to ‘Oops Upside Your Head’ by The Gap Band (officially 1981 I believe!) and a sort of squishy conga to Instant Replay by Dan Hartman. Oh god – it sounds awful doesn’t it? It wasn’t – it was fun but I left at half twelve just as everyone was getting a bit wobbly on the living room-dancefloor and starting to pick at the cold chili con carne whilst laughing really heartily in the kitchen.

And then I wafted home in my hideous circular bubble-coat and fell asleep. I am still covered in fine glitter dust and can’t get it off. Oh well. Kiss kiss. Must dash – cheese football fondue for supper!

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  1. Howesy permalink

    Bread, with garlic…<br/>It’s the future.

  2. rockmother permalink

    Howeser – yes – garlic is the curer of all ills you know – apart from halitosis.

  3. Istvanski permalink

    I think more people should go to work dressed in a similar fashion as you did last night. Men in suits should be forced to wear clown costumes during office hours.<br/><br/>Glad you had a good time, and that you left before they all threw their car keys onto the middle of the coffee table.

  4. Glitter on your cornflakes? I know the feeling.<br/><br/>Not that glitter…before istvanski says anything.

  5. Annie permalink

    Get you, in your vintage bubble coat and your sideways ponytail… I love it that these were your original leopardskin trousers. If only more people had the courage to dress in their own unique fashion…<br/><br/> by the way, I have tried auction stealer, it is very easy (but I still bid too low.) <br/><br/>And there is a shop in Broadwick Street now selling vintage designer gear (forget the name) they had some De Havilland platforms the last time I looked but can’t guarantee that they were Wonder Woman stars and stripes ones. (I have a Eurovision party to go to and have to go dressed in the native costume of whatever county I’m supporting… Help. – Maybe should go as a Cockney Pearly Queen.)

  6. rockmother permalink

    Ister – yes – I thought I might revive the outfit the first day of term after Easter – that’ll all give them something useful to gossip about.<br/><br/>Dickley – stars in my eyes, glitter on my cornflakes and clouds in my coffee <br/><br/>Annie – feel free to raid my hideous wardrobe won’t you! See you next Thurs.

  7. First Nations permalink

    oh rocky! you ARE a honey in your ultrasylver dolman sleeeeeeeeeves!<br/>it’s electric! boogie woogie oogie oogie! lacking only the extreme shoulder pads and star jewelery, you!<br/>the party sounds like a scream!

  8. Billy permalink

    I’m tempted to go to work like that, but I’m not sure how my work colleagues would react.

  9. rockmother permalink

    Firsty – cheers sugar! Well – I did have the most fantastic shiny red apple pendant with a bit taken out of it in rhinestones on the most cheap gold link chain. You can’t really see it in the picture. If I find a decent close-up sans double chin I’ll paste it up for you. Oh – is that what they are called – dolmen sleeves? Aren’t dolmens ancient burial sites? Yes – a good time was had by all and well needed after my 18 hour day week. xx<br/><br/>Billster – I’ll lend you the outfit any time – it was very liberating to wear it!

  10. rockmother permalink

    Firsty – I meant a bite taken out of it by the way.

  11. violetforthemoment permalink

    I <b>LOVE</b> those trousers!

  12. Betty permalink

    Bit of a Sister Sledge thing going on there with the outfit. Those sleeves would’ve come in very handy if you were on a shoplifting spree, in the days before electric barriers on the doors or security guards. Ah, memories … (erm, not really!)

  13. rockmother permalink

    Violet – thank you – they are pretty hideous actually – printed-on stretch leopard!<br/><br/>Betty – ooh I hadn’t thought of that – I could get an entire trolley in the bubble coat – it’s so voluminous. Well done – Thurrock here I come!

  14. Simon Hilton permalink

    Fear not! There’s still this:;product%5fid=13282<br/><br/>Please wear it into work. please. pretty please.<br/>We promise to take you ever so seriously.

  15. Arabella permalink

    You could .. spend the night in ‘Frisco at every kind of disco in your fab gear. Or Hull for that matter.<br/>Don’t want to get you into trouble so I’d better say: Hull is smashing.

  16. rockmother permalink

    Eater Algo Hilton: Ha! You jest – I might just do that – it would be fun. On the condition that you all sponsor me and I will send the money I raise to I-Can’t-Stop-Dressing-Like-<br/>A-Slapper-Anonymous<br/><br/>Arabella – Halston. Gucci. Fiorucci! I can cruise with my favourite gaaang – in Hull. Oh really – do I have to?

  17. llewtrah permalink

    Billy and I had a 70s weekend not long ago. Billy insisted on garlic bread (yummers).

  18. Pod permalink

    i wish i coulda come to the partay with you, even thought you are an old bag full of spanners *wink*<br/><br/>you look fab<br/><br/>that is my mum in the goldwaiscoat on the left. she still looks as hot as that nowadays, and the perm is still just as tight<br/><br/>happy easter love<br/><br/>x

  19. Istvanski permalink

    I’ve seen some bingo wings in my time but that’s taking the piss.

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