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Woop Woop Biohazard

December 17, 2008

Gracious lummy lawks! Where does the time go? Half of it has been spent dicking around on fartbook and manictwitterchecking whilst getting flu first, then getting rid of it only to infect ‘himwhosnoreslikeabison’ only to catch manflu back again – but MUCH WORSE this time around. Last night was spent in two sets of pyjamas and woolly socks and still cold, 8 sneezes in a row and then insomnia from really annoying X Factor Hallelujah songs. So don’t come to our house – it looks like this at the mo:

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We’ve got the orange tape and everything. Oh it hurts to breathe. Such delirium has allowed/forced me to watch the following films today in this order:

Jezebel – Bette Davis Southern shocker
Waterloo Road – fantastic wartime London drama
Girls Girls Girls – Elvis looking sexy and fab costumes

The day started with Jeremy Kyle – which for the duration I started to feel much better and really stunningly beautiful and clever compared to the munters on parade with their selfish stupid lives.

Anyway – it’s more From the Basement tomorrow on Sky Arts at 22:00 – more shameless plugging but quite frankly – with no one paying me for three months and no job on the horizon apart from going into prostitution with the most fantastic Urban Woo what have I to live for?

Blogpoll: Christmas present for a 7 and a half year old – answers please:
Is it a pair of guinea pigs or a Nintendo DS? Would I be the most horrible and boring parent in the world to go for guinea pigs? Would he wonder after 30 mins ‘where the real present is’?
I have so far avoided technology apart from a Leapster which he was overjoyed with until he realised it was ‘educational’. Oh…I think I know the answer but everyone I know who has given their child a Nintendo DS hasn’t spoken to them in the last year as they are always head first in the DS…mind you if very big record co corporation don’t pay up by this week it will be a wooden hoop and an india rubber ball from the pound shop!!

And on that note – here is Cher with Half Breed (thanks to Namalee for enlightening me):

Sayonara you poppy little gypsies tramps and thieves!


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17 Comments
  1. patroclus permalink

    Top tip: if you install <a href=’http://www.tweetdeck.com/’ rel=’nofollow’>TweetDeck</a>, you won’t need to check Twitter – it’ll squawk every time someone posts something new. Also, it makes Twitter a hundred times more interesting.

  2. Jimmy Page's Trousers permalink

    I doubt he’d get to thirty minutes.<br/><br/>I’m getting the missus a DS – mainly because of the giant hints she’s been dropping for the last six weeks. In return, she had (apparently) planned to get me an iPhone. However, (also apparently), as I am not entitled to an upgrade from O2 for another three months, I can’t have an iPhone for Christmas. The fact that I know about this gift-that-can-not-be is infuriating. It’s like she showed me a shiny iPhone and then told me I couldn’t have it (not that it’s her fault, although if she’d never told me, I wouldn’t feel so annoyed).<br/>Bastard O2 – they won’t budge on the three month thing even for another 18-month contract.

  3. Momentary Madness permalink

    Sorry to hear about the cold. Hope you???re better soon.<br/>Money???s a curse. It???s not everything until you haven???t enough.<br/><br/>My advice stay away from the little pigs, incredible big shitters; mountains of the stuff. All they do is eat and eat and ?????? Nintendo/Playstation wins every time.<br/><br/>Cher, god, when I think about it; dressed in a sham native American Indian costume sitting on a horse on stage.<br/>Would I do it? I would if it meant getting a few bob, but she???s serious.<br/>Yes, just write different words, and speed it up with a different lilt here and there and you???re a gypsy and thief.<br/>Every time I see Cher I picture of Sonny rapped around a tree on a ski slope.

  4. ivan007 permalink

    Tell you what about the pigs. We got one for Felix a couple of years ago. It was worth it for the look on his face when he opened the box and it scuttled around and he gasped "Is it REAL?", thinking it was some animatronic thing. <br/>However, if you don’t love guinea pigs yourself, don’t bother. Because you will be the one the feeds them and cleans them out and feels guilty for them on cold nights or when the food runs out. <br/>And we lost two (one to a fox, one to a cat) before settling on the current pair. <br/>But hey, I’ve bonded with them. I hear them squeaking when I come into the kitchen in the morning (they are outside the back door). They talk to me and love being picked up and cuddled. One knows how to get back to the cage from the run, the other sits like a good girl till I pick her up. <br/>But don’t imagine that your kid will really appreciate them. That’s your role …

  5. You could be onto something with that wooden hoop idea rm. Might be due for a revival.

  6. Istvanski permalink

    Get little ‘un a Wii. Not only is it an electronic babysitter, but he won’t develop lardy-arseyitis while using it.<br/>Only go into prostitution if you can compete with Amsterdam’s "Hooker + Hookah" special deals.

  7. Behind Blue Eyes permalink

    Technology is a part of us now and our children need to be accustomed to it. Limit his time if you want. I don’t think guineau pigs are interactive enough. I think a child likes a pet who is more interactive. Our cat was one of the best presents I ever got for my kids. I love Cher!! Even though I normally don’t like the looks of women who drag queens can easily copy!!

  8. rockmother permalink

    Patroclusness – top tip – cheers Mrs although I am wondering why hell I twittered and Fartbooked in the first place and now I can’t stop nooooooo…<br/><br/>Mr Jimmy Pages Trooserster – don’t get an iphone – everyone I knw who has one wants to chuck it out the window as the battery lasts for about 3 hrs if you are lucky..yes am leaning towards DS<br/><br/>Momo Darling – tell me about it! I’m so sick of talking to people in call centres and explaining that I am waiting to be paid…it is a huge worry. Thanks for tip on guinea pigs – I might save them for a birthday next year…or not<br/><br/>Ivan 007 – hhmmm…yes – I so know that is going to happen. He is 7 and a half and is used to handling them/likes cleaning them out at his friends house! But even so – I think Argos beckons….I have held out this long – this will be his first electronic leisure gadget!<br/><br/>Darling Dickley – yes – and a walnut and an orange!<br/><br/>Isterness – hmm – his mates have got Nintendo’s so I may get that for now. Oh the slippery slope…As for going on the game – I could do Lookah and Look-In vintage comic combo ;-)<br/><br/>Behind Gorgeous Blue Eyes – yes – I think you have a point re: technology. And as for Cher – I think she is great – she doesn’t give a shit straddled across a stuffed cow or a battleship gun in nothing but a strip of satin and fishnet. Could teach ugly Madonna a thing or two I am sure!

  9. Piley permalink

    Its tradition to feel fookin lousy all over Crimbo RM, embrace it!<br/><br/>Hmm, a seven and a half year old is a bit advance for me, but i’m guessin the Wii may have more longevity that the furry rat. Plus you wont get lumbered cleaning out the Wii every Sunday (and make no mistake, you WILL end up having to care for the thing!).<br/><br/>And how about a packa those nose strip things for the ‘ol man whilst yer at it eh?!<br/><br/>Get well soon!<br/><br/>P

  10. Piley permalink

    oh and BTW, not wishing to piss on ones bonefire any more than is needed but…. from what i’ve heard, the Wii is now pretty much impossible to pick up this sidea Christmas (from what i’ve heard from people at work who are trying to get one)<br/><br/>P

  11. rockmother permalink

    Pilester – what on earth are you doing blogging when you should be dancing around the room to this week’s From the Basement?! ;-)<br/><br/>I have decided – it’s a DS – he is desperate to be one of the gang and have one. We can enviegle educational games onto it and we can also remove it and hide it easily if he is naughty! He can play/swap games with his friends. And he can play wii at his friend’s houses!! He is much more interested in a DS for some reason – maybe because it is small and immediate. Cheers Pilester.<br/><br/>Everybody – thank you all for your very helpful and honest advice – I just needed convincing seeing as I have held out from anything technical and of the leisure variety so far – oh I’m such a mean heartless wooden-toyed Mummy!

  12. Anonymous permalink

    oh hun sorry to hear. . .u’ve really been in the wars u poor love. 0ur house too is the house of flu. . .anyone for lemon sip and throat losengers. . .thank god the boys cannot catch other wise cost a fortune wth vets. . .wish u better. . Takecare. .chazza x x

  13. Anonymous permalink

    P.s…Prefere flu to chicken pox which tends to rear its ugly head round about this time of year. . .sniff, sniff. . Blow. . .blow. Rather than itch, itch. ,scratch. . Lol x xchazza

  14. Piley permalink

    RM – the joys of ‘series link’ on Sky+!! I never have to remember and i can fast forward all the crappy ads!!<br/><br/>P

  15. llewtrah permalink

    Sorry – not really a comment, but Happy Christmas/Solstice etc (since I don’t seem to be keeping up with blogs at present). Hope you get over the lurgy soon – I’m holding a cold at bay right now as I can’t afford to miss a day from work … which means come Xmas Eve evening I’ll be snorting and snuffling and feeling wretched.

  16. oread the SSA permalink

    Guinea pigs are vile, loathsome little creatures who go SQUEEEEE at all hours of the day and night. Plus, they bite very very hard, no matter how well-socialized they are. Then there’s the fact that they may look adorable and cuddly, but when you pick them up, they’re bony and wiggly and scrambly and horrible. I hate Guinea pigs. <br/>I am, however, a fan of the DS. But if you want to avoid a tech-y toy, rats are neat pets. As are box turtles, except they smell awful for some strange reason…Maybe NintenDogs is your best bet here…<br/>Happy Gift and Feasting-centric Winter Holiday!

  17. Canadian Viagra permalink

    I don’t know what to say because this is perfect I had a lot of memories reading about Nintendo DS and other facts, these are things I have my heart.

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