Rockmother

Hands up who feels like this this morning? Or some of you might still be lying in bed with furry tongue and a cold flannel on your head? This is commonly known as post-quiz syndrome. A raucous time was had by all – and a total of 544 entries. A bit like a virtual pub crawl (thanks Billy for that analogy) – we started in earnest over at the Mollsters. Someone somehow froze her ability to send anything anywhere so we had to jump ship to Billy’s. The ghost in the machine tracked us down. Where was Derek Acorah when we needed him? So off we jollied to Swipers. Gosh darn it – people started getting locked out again so all back to mine. A collective 44 points all I think although by that time at least three kegs of Watneys Red Barrel, 8 pints of Creme De Menthe Frappe, a crate of Archers and several fine bottles of red wine – not to mention various snacks – had been consumed. What a hoot! Thanks Molly for organising it and everyone for not maintaining decorum at all times. Cheerio.

I’m limbering up for the first live blog quiz over at Mollster’s.
I noticed something funny today:

Molly:

Me:

Mirror hair!

Actually – I don’t have my fringe anymore but I couldn’t help but notice the resemblance. Molly’s eyes are slightly more alive and less stalker-ish than mine. I don’t know how old Molly’s is but mine is quite old now – off my last passport – so taken around nearly ten years ago.

Right – got to do another circuit of power-lunges and get into my Margot Leadbetter outfit for a fine half hour of quiztasticness.

Laters pop pickers!

Tonight’s supper:

King prawns in a little olive oil, parsley and mint from the garden, dash of tomato, two teaspoons of red wine, clove of garlic and a large pinch of smoked paprika
Yesterday’s chestnut mushroom and spinach risotto made into a cake
Roasted chicory
Black pepper
Generous glass of red (Tempranillo)

It’s delicious – even though I say so myself. And I’ve cooked it just for one. Took all of 20 mins. Great She – you can do it!

Crikey – I’ve gone all Elizabeth David.

Oh for goodness sake – another meme. I wasn’t going to join in but thought I would stop being a grump and enter the ranks of meme-ers out there – thanks Billy for this.

Have you had sex in the past 24 hours?
I wish!

Are you gay?
No. But quite a lot of my friends are.

Do you have hairy legs?
Sometimes – but I’m not a naturally very hairy person anyway. Lots of people are jealous of me for that.

Do you smoke anything?
Used to – lots! Don’t anymore but never say never.

Do you like monkeys?
Of course I do. Filmed orangutans in Borneo two years ago – I didn’t want to stop holding them – they are quite the warmest, happy, friendly, clever creatures I’ve ever encountered.

How many fillings do you have?
Do root canals count? None if they don’t. Two if they do.

Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
The sea!

Have you ever licked one of those square batteries?
Yes. I used to like the fizzy buzz on my tongue that they made when you licked them.

Have you ever read the Bible?
Bits. I’ve still got my Childrens Illustrated Bible published by Puffin 1972.

Did you ever go to Sunday School?
Yes – briefly (only a few times) in Bournemouth c.1970. I hated it and was forced to go by my sadistic grandmother who I’m sure shoved me there so she could boil the Sunday lunch within an inch of it’s life without me hanging around.

Do you wear a lot of black?
Yes, I have worn alot of black in my time but a little more adventurous now.

Did you ever bring a weapon to school?
Does Tippex Thinner count?

Have you ever hugged a tree?
No – but I’ve hugged a standing stone in France before.

Do you know what a sphincter actually is?
Of course I bloody do!

Describe your hair?
Straight but goes curly in the rain. I used to have a fringe years ago and when it rained I used to get what I called ‘owly ears’!

Are you a wildbeast?
Is that some sort of new chocolate biscuit?

Do you like to have fun?
As long as I’m not being made to against my will.

Do you like drama?
Dahhhhling – I love it!

Have you ever taken a bong hit?
Of course I have.

Do you like mayonnaise?
Yes, but I stopped eating it last year and only have goats or sheeps yoghurt instead. I tried it the other day and I couldn’t believe how sweet it was. I used to have mayonnaise on toast with butter as a child and tomato ketchup sandwiches.

Are you afraid to die?
No – except in pain and alone without anyone realising I’m actually dying. So maybe yes then?

Do you like playing in leaves?
Yes I like kicking them really hard and hoping that I don’t connect with any dog shit in the process.

Have you ever peed your pants as an adult?
Good god no!

Have you ever thrown up on somebody as an adult?
No – but but I did puke on a duvet about 10 years ago and at the foot of a gaggle of terrified Japanese tourists in Regent Street when I had uncontrollable morning sickness. I felt so undignified and ashamed – they all screamed and grouped together in a huddle.

Are you an adult?
In body – possibly not in spirit

Ever won a spelling bee?
whateva!

Do you ever eat because you’re depressed?
No. If anything I’ll eat much less when I’m depressed

Are you a television addict?
No, but watched an inordinate amount especially as a child. In fact, I used to occassionally bunk off school to watch Australian soap Sons and Daughters.

Do you think OJ was guilty?
Yes and he fucking knows it!

Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
Yes, unless she’s annoying me.

Have you ever had sex in a hot tub?
Can’t remember. I don’t think so.

On a swing?
No. But have had sex hanging out of a window and on a clifftop on the Ring of Kerry.

Do you like Elvis?
Yes.

Do you enjoy watching animals “do it” on the Discovery channel?
Don’t care much for the Disco Channel and would rather be doing it myself than watching animals do it.

Ever been hit on at a zoo?
No except by my mum giving me a thick ear for being rude.

Have you ever had sex with a total stranger?
Sort of – but I did ask him his name afterwards.

Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkeys?
If that is anything to do with gobbling – no. Turkeys smell and have been exploited by Evil Bernard Matthews. I think they should do to him what he has done to the turkeys.

Does your mom think someone is hot?
I think she likes Steven Berkoff.

Are you a sugar freak?
No – much prefer savoury anyday

Ever been arrested?
No but was cautioned for being rude to a police officer once.

Ever commit a crime and get away with it?
The odd bit of fare-dodging and horrible Vivian Sallis stuffed a packet of sweet cigarettes up my sleeve when I was only 6 (she was eight and should have known better!) – I was really upset as she bullied me into not squealing and we got caught. I’ve never really forgotten that feeling of utter fear of being made to do something bad against your will.

Do you like orange juice?
Only freshly squeezed from my 1950’s press I lugged back from a junk shop in St Kilda in 1999.
Rip It Up and Start Again was ok I suppose.

What sign are you?
Beautiful Aquarius.

Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly?
Oh shut up! I’m bored now.

Where do you wish you were right now?
Stabbing pencils in my eyes because I wish I wasn’t here doing this

Did you enjoy this?
Sort of but now I know why I haven’t done a meme before and won’t again. Ever!

So there you go – thankfully I survived this inanity by listing to Bobcast 6 which kept me sane throughout. Another great cast Bob – thank you and I had forgotten how lovely a singing voice you have –
great. I get my microphone tomorrow – I think that is all I need now to start the forthcoming Romocast’s. I’m just off down the road to investigate another weirdo in our neighbourhood. Bob – you might have seen him? There is a man that sits each morning in a bus shelter just before Brunel University/Ballet Rambert and reads the paper, makes calls on his phone, drinks water (could be gin mind?) and generally hangs out until around five o clock when he obviously buggers off home. I was wondering whether he is doing that weird thing where he has lost his job and hasn’t told his wife yet. She thinks he goes to work but in fact, he goes to the bus stop and treats it like his office. I did actually see him ranting madly down the phone the other day so perhaps he’s just an alcoholic lunatic. He’s got a small shopping trolley as well – maybe his portable bar? Anyway – I’m working from (wasting time not doing work) home today so might just pop down to have a look on the pretense of catching a bus. Actually, Bob – is it you? Does Ma Swipe still think you’re going to the library every morning? I knew it!

Laters pop-pickers.

UPDATE: Hm. Now I know why I had so many hits. Tony Ogden has died. He was obitted in The Independent by the fabulous John Robb two days ago. That is a big shame. He was a huge talent and should have been more recognised for his music. Here is a link to his obituary. Very sad. Big waste. Apparently cause of death is as yet unknown.

FURTHER UPDATE: For anyone who is interested – apparently Tony Ogden was found dead in a lake in Stockport near his mother’s house. There will be an inquest.

Have been intrigued lately by a huge amount of searches for ‘World Of Twist’ ‘Tony Ogden’ landing at my blog. Last year I posted a bit about World Of Twist as I am a big fan – I still play their Quality Street album regularly and I’m sure a track or two will feature on my forthcoming RoMocast when I work out how to bloody do it. I’m hoping I will be the blogosphere’s answer to Anne Nightingale seeing as Bob Swipe is being compared to Peel – I actually think he sounds more like Whispering Bob Harris than Peel but there you go. As long as I’m not compared to Janice Long I’ll be happy! Anyway – I digress. A very kind person sent me a link for a new track from Tony Ogden – came from Twisted Nerve Records (Badly Drawn Boy’s company). Unfortunately the poster was anonymous – but anonymous if you’re reading – thanks very much.

Here’s an excerpt from my original piece:

Anyone remember World Of Twist? A fabulous band – they were hailed as the Roxy Music of the Nineties but disappeared as quickly as they appeared. Such a shame. Quality Street was a brilliant album but one which unfortunately hailed the beginning of their demise. For a start it was produced by The Grid who recorded it at half volume. I always wondered why I had to turn it up to at least 40 to hear it. They were doing copious amounts of coke and E in the studio and smoking skunk for breakfast which apparently according to ex-singer Tony Ogden meant that they had a few problems communicating with each other. That struck a chord with me as years ago I used to work for a company called Music Box making er…music programmes. We used to have an indie show and would bus around the country each week interviewing bands. We went to Manchester to interview the band when they were recording Quality Street and I remember thinking what hard work and how incommunicative they all were. Now I know why!! It then went from bad to worse – the reviews were undeservedly terrible mainly due to the fact it was recorded quietly – music journo’s you should all be ashamed of your whinging selves for that! The band folded and Tony Ogden spent the next few years on smack watching third reich war films (because the good guys won – make of that what you will – he said it not me). He has been glimpsed now and again around Manchester and has started producing tracks again. I bet it’s brilliant. Here’s a link to the latest (I think).

Currently listening to Bob Swipe’s Podcast 4 as I write whilst eating…..

Supper:
the last sliver of homemade chicken pie from yesterday’s supper – cold – just right
warm falafel with lemon juice and coriander (homemade)
hoummous (not homemade)
a glass of red wine (well two actually and definitely not homemade thank goodness)

after a nice day spent idling with my son and my Dad.

Here’s a picture of them looking strangely alike in a sort of we don’t give a fuck kind of way and mucking about taking photo’s of themselves a month or so ago in PIzza Express Twickenham

Today I ended up discussing my on-going relationship troubles and mooting my possible impending single-parenthood with my Dad who ironically – left my mother as a single parent when I was three. I’ve always been quite proud of the fact that I’ve managed to survive that milestone myself so far….and even more ironically, there we were discussing it all at ‘the swings’ in Marble Hill Park where my father 37 years ago told my mother he was leaving whilst I too was playing on the swings. I sort of remember that day. I remember being asked to be pushed and seeing my mum looking stern and away and my Dad well, just looking like my Dad really. So I just lay over the swing and twisted around and around instead as everyone seemed to be ignoring me. Finally, we had to get up and leave. I remember my Mum walking on ahead. Later I remember my Dad with wet hair pulling on his full length chocolate brown leather raincoat (it was 1969!) and leaving, slamming the door. And that was it. Gone. I remember it so clearly (much to my parents pain and horror even now). I remember telling my Dad that he couldn’t go out with wet hair. His parting words were ‘It’s ok’. Can’t remember anything after that at all. I’ve blethered on here as I guess the title suggests and as I sort of knew I would. My worry at the moment is mainly that I’m very aware of protecting my son from so much if/when the inevitable happens – which I think is a distinct possibility. The other thing I’m more than aware of is that single parent-dom is pretty much all I know. I’m also incredibly independent. A majority of my oldest, best friends are also children of single mothers. I’m even trying to make a documentary about single mothers for chrissake – I suppose it is something I know well. Anyway, it’s all getting a bit much which is why I’ve been posting up silly drivel lately as a way of avoiding sticking personal stuff up on my blog – which I only do from time to time. I’m doing this today in memory and on the eve of what would have been Abbies (one of my all time true and best kindred spirits) 37th birthday. For those of you that are newcomers to this blog – Abbie was a great and true friend (also a single mother!) who died of the most horrid brain cancer last year. My blog was the only outlet for my thoughts at the time as I just couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Plus I helped nurse her pretty much until the end which didn’t feel hard at the time but I felt the fall-out afterwards – still am sometimes. All of it is archived Feb-May 2005. I think about and miss her everyday. If she were still here she would urge me to be truthful and declare what was bothering me – so I have. Thanks for reading.
Abbie Campbell 1969 – 2005.
You rocked!

(Abbie and Charlie her son March 2005)

UPDATE:
I just realised that perhaps anyone (all of my 2 readers!) reading this might think that I want to become a single mother. To clarify, my point is that I don’t relish the idea of possibly becoming a single mother at all and am definitely working very hard not to be – especially as it is something that I know very well. I hope that makes sense. Normal service to be resumed shortly – I just had to get that off my chest!

FURTHER UPDATE:
Thanks Bob for another great podcast – a good companion for writing except your Bowie closer was going to be my opener for my first podcast – harumph – I’ll have to re-think!

Me as Lady Penelope by my friend Dr Bannon. Molly Bloom might like this. Just off down the shops for more ‘Buie Breezers.

Following on from Bob Swipe‘s marvellous post – here’s my favourite Debbie McGee model. I think that’s what you call a hair-don’t as opposed to a hair-do.

My poor deluded child: Mummy? How do traffic lights know when to change?

Me: Oh, there’s a really tiny person who lives inside the post and they have a remote control. They count to twenty and then they go red, then amber aaaaaaand green!

My poor deluded child: Oh. Are they tall like you?

Me: Nooooooo! They’re only this high (1″ between finger and thumb) and see that plant (weed growing at base of traffic light) that’s their garden.

Poor deluded child: Oh (quizzically – still thinking). PAUSE. Do they live outside or inside the pole?

Me: Oh, inside. Poor deluded child: Oh (quizzically again). SILENCE.

Him: pondering

Me: wondering why on earth I made up such a ridiculous story – but that really was the image I had in my head at the time.

Later he asked me (while he was having a poo) whether I had noticed something special about Thelma, Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby. Er no I said – what?

Well, he said – they don’t do wee’s or poo’s in the day. It’s so cool, they wait until all the children are in bed and do it while they are asleep.

Hm…my turn to go “oh….” Fair point I suppose. Good observation.

If it wasn’t for those snoopin’ kids……