tulip
Originally uploaded by rockmother.
This is the only tulip to survive out of forty planted. The squirrels ate the rest. No wonder they are looking so fat this year. Haven’t blogged for a while because my head has been dealing with the fall-out of Abbie dying, other writing and ideas. Been a bit pre-occupied and not very organised which is a feeling I don’t like very much. Can’t concentrate very well either – most frustrating. Will return to form soon.
my first love
Originally uploaded by rockmother.
No, this isn’t my i book but it might as well be at the moment. I have a G3 i book which is making me want to bash it with a breeze block – can any of you help?
Problem: Print Center won’t load although I can see the icon in my dock. It jumps up and down but won’t load. When I open it in Applications it is blank. This means I can not control the printer which at the moment is paused so I have to waste alot of time and paper adding to and re-starting the queue which is the only way I can get anything to print. I re-installed the printer (I knew this wouldn’t solve it – but I had to try). I also can not load/edit printer list either. Any ideas/potential solutions would be most appreciated.
powerbook detail
Originally uploaded by rockmother.
Here is a menu detail from my lovely 11 year old powerbook that I found in my loft yesterday. It powered up with no problem apart from the fact that it has a piece of sellotape holding the battery in place. It only has 12 fonts and 8MB of memory. It cost a fortune in 1994. My how times have changed. I love it. I miss my old Mac Classic which was stolen when my office was burgled – the loss adjuster replaced it with this.
better school dinners please!
Originally uploaded by rockmother.
Saw these kids and felt really sorry for them.
I grew this!
Originally uploaded by rockmother.
Well, the end finally came yesterday around 18.40 our time and around 13.40 where Abbie lives. The end and hopefully a new beginning. A few days ago Abbie asked me if she was going to the ‘promised land’ or ‘hell’ (she was never religious so I was quite surprised by the tone of her question)? Well I said, if hell is the place you would least like to be or in fact deserve and the promised land is the best place you’ve ever loved and could not ever get bored of then yes, you are going there. And then she said, can you help me? I’m stuck and need directions. So surreal, so poignant and so clear. We always joked that we would meet up on her favourite Greek island and loll about snacking on fine food and wine without a care in the world. A place where there is no time and all the time in the world. I hope she’s there already and I know I’ll be there one day. We all will – laughing and joking and having fun. Until then, there will be a little hole in the world that neither earth, nor rain or air can fill. Just an empty little pocket that Abbie once filled. If you bend down and put your ear to it you can hear a little shrill laugh. That’ll be Abbie having a ball.
Going to meet Jimmy Pursey lead singer of Sham 69 this morning to talk to him about a documentary I am making about the history of Punk Rock. He’s quite a character so far. He said he was painting at the moment – I’m not sure if that means painting and decorating or painting pictures. I hope it’s pictures as that will no doubt be quite interesting. He has a house with his girlfriend but until recently he was living in a hotel in Staines and she was still in the house. He is currently living in his friends house near Ascot. Will update later.
ikea
Originally uploaded by rockmother.
I presume for those that took part in a gargantuan amount of comments on Bird a few months back that you will all be watching Ikea It Drives Me Crazy on BBC2 at 10.30 tonight.
We drove past Ikea on the North Circular yesterday (Easter Sunday). Couldn’t believe that I actually entertained the idea of ‘just popping in’ on the way home. Luckily my partner reminded me that (a) I was mad and (b) he would leave me there by myself forever if I drove anywhere near it. Hallelujah – I am saved!!
you really are dead
Originally uploaded by rockmother.
Saw this on a shutter at the end of my friend’s road on Friday. Glad I don’t live there!
Feeling very restless and jittery at the moment…….and also very lucky. Can’t write much about this as it is all very serious. Spoke with Abbie and her mum Sally yesterday. Terrible, awful, horrid. She has deteriorated significantly since we last spoke three days ago and is on morphine every hour. We actually had a great chat but I felt like she was leaving me and shouting down a tunnel I would never get to the bottom of. It was hard. She was desperatly trying to talk properly through the morphine and we just kept saying I love you, I love you too – what else is there to say? She rambled off a few times but was still there. It won’t be long now – I felt as if she had crossed over and I was talking to her on the other side. I felt if I could just reach out my hand she would grab it and I could pull her back. I said goodbye which I really didn’t want to do and then marched around the house like an angry frustrated child just thinking it’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair. I don’t even hate anyone enough to wish it was them and not Abbie I just wish she wasn’t ill and going to die. I rather selfishly will miss her so very much. I told her to wait for me, I’m coming back I said. Good she said, I will, but I know she has almost gone already. Please think of Abbie and wish her well.
busted rock
Originally uploaded by rockmother.
No they don’t! Courtesy of our neighbour’s six year old daughter who put it through our door the other day. Why??! I blame the parents.
Rockmother 