Yes – it a Flavor Flav alarm clock. Instead of waking up to John Humphries or Sarah Kennedy (if you are that way inclined…god forbid…is she off the sauce yet?) or an annoying buzz you can wake up to Flavor Flav ex-wearer of massive comedy clock around his neck dancer/rapper with Public Enemy. Believe it or not – these are very rare and there is one up for grabs on ebay here.
I think I have to have it. Imagine waking up every morning to someone shouting “Fight the Power!” Apparently Flavor Flav topped the People Magazine’s Poll of America’s Top Ten Ugliest People – that’s not very nice is it? He seems to have now cornered the market in reality tv specials and sitcom so he can’t be doing that badly. A friend of mine worked with him years ago and said “He is mad but he’s really nice!”.
Cheadle’s finest clog-dancing blogging duo Betty‘n’Geoff started it. I have been mulling it over for weeks – the ten worst guilty pleasures in your record collection. I think I can do better than that – I admit that I own this little shameful little ditty on 7″ vinyl. I bought it with my own money earned working Saturday’s in a self-service supermarket in Barnes (London) called Walton Hassell and Port. It was next to Olympic Studios so we used to get lots of rockers in buying Kraft pasties and Primula spread. I had to wear a nylon gingham housecoat thing that gave me awful static. I think it was all the volume mousse I used to put in my growing out disaster of a perm that exacerbated it. Anyway, here it is – as Frank Carson used to say “It’s a cracker!”. And check out the boiler doing the high kick in pink metallic frock. Classy!
I think I liked it as my first proper boyfriend “Daaaaave” not Dave, Daaaaaaave looked like Nick Heyward. Oh the shame.
Two things I find it impossible to do:
(a) walk slowly
(b) walk and read at the same time
(some of my vintage Ladybird book collection)
Two questions:
(a) what is your preferred method of reading?
(b) what are the two things you can’t do?
Thanks.
Somehow I have been found via the powers of munterspace by a friend I lost touch with about 7 years ago and knew for about 6 years before that. The weird thing is – I don’t publicise my real name on munterspace and my avatar (as some of you know) is this:
The even weirder thing is that he has really been on my mind over the last few days. I am a psychic witchmother.
Rather more embarrassingly – this is his message – I really couldn’t tell you what he is talking about……no really….for those who aren’t conversant in the Czech language – ‘foy’ means uugghhhhh! in Czech.
I have found you my little friend. Where are you living? XXX and I are in Clapham – we got into property developing for a while but now we have stopped and I am doing a masters in linguistics. I see that a small person came out of your tummy – how weird. Are you grown up now or do you still pee in people’s gardens and say “FOY” ? Please get in touch coz I miss you. My number is XXXXXXX Lots of love XXXXXX Blimey. The tinternet is a powerful thing.
Yes – 24th of January – mathematically proven to be THE most depressing day of the year for the world. Proven by a mathematics professor in an important university and no doubt written on special paper. Statistical fact! Oh well. Nevermind. I intend to have a nice day. Ho hum – 17 again…
(Drawing Copyright David Shrigley – one of my favourite genius’s)
It’s ok – this isn’t a picture of Heath Ledger dead – it is him as The Joker. Looks like the last laugh was on him. He was found surrounded by pills. Dead. He was only 28. They think it is drug-related as opposed to suicide although he had a history of playing ‘suicidal characters’ so perhaps the method went a bit too far. I don’t know much about The Ledge but I think he had quite a le(d)gendary lifestyle by all accounts. Candle burnt a bit bright I guess….looks like he crammed a lot into those short years. Some people do.
Drugs kill kids. Don’t do’em. Even Amy Crackhouse has checked into rehab as of today. Perhaps The Sun film was all a bit too much after all.
Ian Dury put it so well: what a waste.
Why do teenagers (and Ricky Martin) do this?
and this?
and this?
and why do they wear jeans like this?
and walk with that limp like they have a drawing pin stuck in the ball of their foot? I read somewhere that the baggy bum showing trouser thing came from US prison wear. I sort of see where they are coming from with that but why? I think the man on the escalator above looks like he needs a good firm wedgie if you ask me.
I encountered a teenager doing the whole crotch-grabbing limp thing yesterday and I admit that I rather pathetically sunk to his level by shouting ‘wanker’ out the window at him Withnail and I style as I drove past in the Wagon of Rock . It cheered me up immensely. His whole act crumbled before my eyes. It was quite something. There has been a lot of talk about Tom Cruise and his speaking in tongues effort on youtube last week. Well look here – it is the proof we knew to be true all along
“hopelessly insane” – you can’t get more conclusive than that can you?
Talking of insane, psychedelic drug-induced space paranoics – check this out – Raquel Welch and Her Amazing Space Dancing Clog Trio from BoltonIsn’t that just the best? Later pop-pickers. xx
I have suddenly been locked out of a blog I have read/commented on for about 2-3 years. I am not invited unlike everyone else on his blogroll. He has been on my blogroll for years. I feel a bit like one of the stragglers to be picked last for the worst side netball team. I will miss reading his blog despite the fact it could be quite infuriating at times. That was what I liked about it. The fickleness of the blogosphere. I guess I’ll just go to the bottom of the unexclusive class.
Actually, the last post was a lie. I don’t know what is wrong with me – can’t concentrate, can’t get anything done, feel like I am stuck in goo and can’t move, worried about lots of things, made my mother cry today by telling her to ‘stop shooting her mouth off’, then I cried. I think I have got Januaryitis. I hate everything and feel exhausted. Now I know how canoe-man felt. But I shall rise above it – somehow. I need to do that thing where you stand in front of the mirror and say: you can do it, you are great or some other such nonsense. Bah! January! I hate it all. Just going off to slap myself round the face and give myself a swift kick to the head – that should work.
In the meantime – if anyone else is suffering from a similar malaise then watch this – it is guaranteed to cheer you up. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you………The Rah Band with Clouds Across The Moon. The rather louche looking lady singing is the wife of the man in the emergency space blanket bacofoil boilersuit and baseball cap who wrote the song. In the words of Andre Previn – “I’d say it’s one of the worst pop video’s of all time” (apart from Fade to Grey by Visage of course).
Rockmother 